Laments, rumblings and random musings on selling a house.

Some random musings that we experienced while selling our house:

• Roller coasters have a minimum height requirement.  To purchase alcohol in Ontario you must be nineteen (or have an underaged friend who has shaved since he was seven and will purchase it for you). Minimum limits are function of nature.  I propose that to place an offer on a house it be required that the number of brain cells in your cranium be at least seven.  The first offer we received was from people whom the realtor affectionately referred to as "wing nuts".  We do meet the minimum height requirement for roller coasters (well me barely) but we prefer not to ride emotional roller coasters.  Thank goodness that the second offer that led to the sale of the house was made with intelligent life forms.
• To help entice the sale of the house, before every showing we baked cookies.  The theory goes that the aroma will remind the buyer of the comforts of hanging out at their grandparents house and give the house a feeling of familiarity.  That being said I propose that we could have sold the house in a day had we cooked a few pounds of bacon.
• Before each showing we scrambled to put away toys, clean floors and hand prints, and make the house immaculate.  The average time for the girls to reclaim the house to its original state:  3.9 seconds.
• They suggest that you remove personal effects from the walls before listing your house.  One suggestion is to remove family photos.  This makes a lot of sense since we are much better looking than everyone else.
• Part of selling the house required maintaining the outside curb appeal.  This led to a lot of extra work on my part.  Instead of cutting the grass once every 23 days, I was forced to cut the lawn every 22 days.
• Everybody should strive to keep their household in a constant state of saleability.  Everything in its place, put away and organized.  After closing the sale of our house this constant state of saleability lasted exactly 6 hours.
• Its amazing how living in a place for so long you don't notice the minor flaws of your abode.  Finishing pieces of trim are put into place, holes in the walls are puttied and the paint on the baseboards is touched up.  Even our beloved orange kitchen cupboards were painted white.  Lucky for me my wife never suggested any upgrades to her husband.
• This house will always be full of memories for us.  In this house we fell in love, our children were born, and we cooked a delicious smoked brisket.  But the new house will continue to create new memories and adventures and I look forward to continued happiness, love and tonnes of BBQ'd meat.